out with the old...

the coming of the end of a year is probably different for everyone. for me, it is very much a time of reflection but also anticipation. we got home from my parents on wednesday night. kyle and i spent all day yesterday cleaning up and cleaning out!!! i also got all of my christmas decorations put up. we got a lot done but are not near finished. we also made a new rule for the kids...no toys past the carpet which means they cannot come into the main living areas with any toys. surprisingly, they have done pretty well. might i add the front rooms look so much better without toys scattered everywhere :)

we had a great christmas and rylee was sad that i was taking down all of the decorations. she asked why i was "putting christmas up?" :) i had to explain it would come again next year :)

as i anticipate the new year...of course, i want some things to be different...as i'm sure you do:) i'm not making resolutions however, they don't stick with me. i'm making some decisions...(i'm not sure there is a difference)...

i'm going to start exercising again. i haven't in over a year...since we got the twins and i've also put on almost 30 pounds....yikes. time for that to go. the clencher...i'll be exercising at 5:30am with my friend kriste. ughhhh....i hate 5:30am unless i'm snoozing in my warm bed.

i would like to be more disciplined overall. (time with God, finances, eating habits, etc.)

i would like to get my photography up and going this year. i already have 4 appointments for january.....yeah :)

and as with every year...i would like to be a better wife, mother, friend, daughter, sister, youth minister's wife, mdo director and above all..............increase the likeness of Christ in all of those areas. of course, that means dying to me on a daily basis....easier said than done....i'm really a very selfish person......no really!!! :)

ok, enough babbling. i have to go do laundry and clean out toys. i still have all of the kids new toys in the van until i clean out their old ones. how cruel am i?

My Christmas wish for the ones I love...

This will be my last blog until after Christmas. I'm going to my parents tonight and will be there through next Wednesday. So, the following is a Christmas wish for anyone reading this post...even if I don't know you personally :)

I wish you joy....not happiness that comes with perfect circumstances, but true joy...the kind that exists beyond our circumstances. The kind that gives us a reason to rejoice...the kind that can only be found through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

I wish you peace....peace that passes all understanding. The kind of peace that when you lay your head down at night, you know without a doubt who holds you in His magnificent hands. The kind of peace that is there when life doesn't make sense and when our pain is so great...the kind of peace that can only be found in Him.

I wish you hope....hope that springs up and spreads throughout your heart and mind. Hope that goes beyond our most difficult circumstances, hope that defies logic and hope that gives birth to joy and peace.

I wish you love....love from family and friends....love from our Savior and Lord. I wish you the kind of love that is unconditional, unbending and forever.

These things I wish for you now and in the year to come. I'm so grateful for so many things...my family, my friends and most of all a God who continually blows my mind. He has shown me in more ways than one this year how much He loves me and just how big He is.

Merry Christmas!

pictures

creed and all of his cousins at his 1st birthday party...












children of all the cousins at kyle's aunt and uncle's house in frankston...

full enough to explode...

kyle took all of his youth workers to the cheesecake factory in dallas tonight. i'm still full and we ate almost two hours ago. ughhhh.... i ate way too much but it was sooooooooo good. i had shrimp w/angel hair pasta. the sauce was amazing. for dessert i shared some kind of chocolate heaven cake. it rocked!!!

we went to frankston on sat. and had a good time with kyle's family. then yesterday was my nephew's 1st bday. the kids and i drove down to saratoga for his party. he's such a cutie! i'm looking forward to spending time with faith and creed over the holidays.

we are spending christmas with my family this year. it's always fun times.....food, games, a lot of laughing etc. have i mentioned that i LOVE christmas???? i think the thing i love most is just hanging out with family.

ok...my full tummy is going to bed. blessings!

two week break..........

today was the last day of mother's day out for the year. woohoo!!! i'm ready for a two week break. i'm also ready for my family to be well. rylee had an ear infection beginning of the week, and now kade is fighting an ear infection. we need to take stock in CVS...that's where our money is going right now :) lily and kyle are good so far....knock on wood.

went to dinner tonight with my friend kriste. kind've funny......i actually met her while she was helping me deliver rylee. she was my favorite nurse. i've seen her over the past few years for area wide church events (she goes to Grace Community here in Corsicana). anyway, after i saw her at the last one we decided we needed to get together. we had a really great time tonight. we have a lot in common including the same goal weight :) so , we are going to start walking in jan. and keeping each other accountable in the food realm.


ok...going to bed...i have a full day of laundry tomorrow.

ughhhh........

went to the dr. today. i have a sinus infection and pink eye. spent $90 on medicine today. that was fun.... i'm hoping to wake up a new woman tomorrow.

don't really have a lot to say tonight. i could ramble on about nothing, but i'll spare you. have a great weekend!

allergies and pictures...

rylee throwing a fit...

lily in the leaves...

sweet brother and sister...

well, i have been miserable with allergies for a couple of weeks now. you can tell by looking at my house. i am zapped of energy, feel miserable, my face is swollen and my left eye looks like someone kicked me in the face. as one of my mdo teachers put it today, "mary-michele, i don't mean to be mean but you look horrible". yes...it's true...i look horrible. i called the doctor today and of course they were booked so my doctor called in a perscription decongestant. we'll see how that works. maybe i'll be able to breathe again.

still playing with my camera. :)

a few shots...loving my camera!!!

i went to a cemetary near our house this afternoon. i know that sounds kind've weird but there is some really pretty areas there...


my teachers and i sold cups for our mdo fundraiser today downtown. it was a little chilly!!!

amy and and her son ryan

our sad little table...

oh yes....it's here.......

as you probably guessed.....i got my camera :) i have been playing with it for the last two hours. ironically, there is not another human in the house with me right now to take pictures of. i say ironically, because i'm pretty sure this is the first time i have been home alone since we had rylee. anyway, the reason is because i have to run a booth downtown tomorrow for mother's day out and kyle is going to a hunt test. so, he loaded up the kids and they are all staying at my parents tonight.

needless to say, i have been trying to find something to take a picture of. i took several shots and have started reading through the manual. i have never seen so many buttons, menus and functions on anything in my entire life. it's a little daunting...but i just keep telling myself that it's like anything else. i have to get used to, learn it and use it.

i went christmas shopping today and got soooo much done. i left the kids with a sitter. i needed a break and frankly, they did too. it's good for all of us :) i had a fabulous afternoon. it is so rare that i am by myself. i'm not one of those people that wants that all the time, but it is nice occasionally.

i hope you enjoy my first photo. maybe it will help get you in the christmas spirit :)

whine juice

so i read on a friend's blog about whine juice. (mixture of water and vinegar) when your kids whine or sass you spray it in their mouth. so, i thought this was a pretty good idea. the following are responses...

rylee didn't like it.....good
kade thought about it and decided he didn't like it.....good
lily asked for more......bad

this is so typical lily. she is a stubborn little toot! :)

an unexpected phone call...

the phone rang around 2:30pm yesterday afternoon. the name didn't come up on the caller id, but i answered it anyway. a female's voice immediately said..."this is................" it was the twins previous foster mother. i was actually glad to hear her voice. my heart has hurt for her from the beginning of this whole thing and she always handled herself very politely and respectfully during the whole process.

we began talking and she told me how afraid she was to call because she didn't know how i would react. she was relieved that i didn't hang up on her. i caught her up on the twins and she was thrilled to hear that they are doing so well. she apologized for putting our family through the court fiasco and accepted full responsibility for their fault in losing the twins. i was able to tell her that we did not think bad about them and that we understood that they had to do everything they could to keep them and that we probably would have done the same thing. she expressed how glad she was that they are with us.

it was a very positive conversation for both of us. we were two mothers who have mothers hearts for the twins and we agreed that ultimately God has a plan for them and it was with us. she said that she still grieves them and that the holidays are very difficult which i could understand. i got her email address and sent some pictures which she was thrilled to get and said that she was happy to see them so happy. i told her i had wanted to send her pictures but didn't know if it would be more painful than helpful. she said she understood that, but that seeing them happy and growing would help her. so, i told her i would keep her updated and send pictures every once in a while. she continually expressed her gratefulness.

she and her husband have been in couseling and she said they have worked through a lot and are doing well. i was glad to hear that. anyway, sorry so wordy, but it's easier writing here than repeating the story several times :)

on a lighter note......my camera should be here friday......that is only two days!!!!!!! woo-hoo!

we're all sick and miserable. if you are reading this...please say a quick prayer. it is very difficult to take care of three toddlers when you don't feel good and they don't feel good.

on a positive note...i ordered my camera last night. my nikon d200 should be here in 4-6 days. i cannot wait. so be prepared to start seeing lots of pictures on my blog. i have also named my little photography adventure...moments by mary-michele. i want to focus on portraiture, mainly families, children, senior pictures etc. outside. i'm not sure about an indoor studio...that will be later on. definitely no weddings....i don't want that stress :) i do hope to do some engagement and bridal portraits, however. anyway, as you can see, i'm still extremely excited!!! i also still have soooo much to learn!!!

i sign off coughing, sneezing, aching and miserable with hopes of feeling better very soon :)

photography bliss...

i went with linda to two shoots today. i loved every minute of it. it just confirmed that this is definitely something i want to pursue. i've been researching cameras and i think i know which one i want, but kyle and i are going to look at it tomorrow. i'm hoping to get my camera in the next couple of weeks. i've told kyle it can be my christmas/birthday/anniversary/valentine etc. present for the next two years :) he likes that he'll be off the hook :) anyway, i am really excited and already learned so much from linda, just by helping and watching today.

rylee is feeling better. the twins are running a low-grade fever. not sure if they have what rylee had. i guess we'll find out. i have been fighting congestion for the last couple of days. i'm coughing and miserable at night. ughhhh. anyway, hopefully it will pass soon and be on its way.

thanksgiving, jack-in-the-box and a super mom-in-law!

well, thanksgiving was a little different this year. i noticed some white spots on rylee's tongue on wednesday night but she said they didn't hurt so i didn't think too much about it. as we were packing and getting ready to head to waco yesterday, around 3:45pm, i noticed that rylee had fever. took her temp and sure enough...almost 103. so, i took her to the doctor and she has cocksackie virus (also known as hand, foot and mouth disease...not to be confused with hoof and mouth disease, rylee is not a cow :) basically, you run fever and can get spots in your mouth, hands and feet. anyway, we couldn't go to waco and expose everyone, so we stayed in corsicana.

we went to jack in the box for lunch and then to walmart to get christmas lights. kyle has turned into clark griswald this year. he's going all out with lights outside this year. :) anyway, then my sweet mother-in-law came around 3pm and brought leftovers (Yeah!!!!) so, we decorated for christmas, had turkey and the whole spread for dinner with Judy and she left around 7pm to head back to waco. it was soooo nice of her to come down and bring us thanksgiving dinner.

so, it definately was different, but i was with my family and we truly had a great day! hope your thanksgiving was wonderful too!!!

by the way, i got some paints at walmart yesterday. learned and practiced some strokes and painted my first rose. it turned out pretty good. our scanner/printer is broken, otherwise i would post it....bummer.

so call me crazy...:)

i think i'm going to get into professional photography. i have always loved pictures and i LOVE professional pictures. we just did family pictures today and we use an awesome photographer named Linda. she learned everything she knows from following a photographer around and i'm going to do the same thing. i'm going to go with her for a while and see if this is really something i want to do. i'm really excited.

i think i'm coming to a point in my life where i realize there are certain things i have always wanted to do but haven't done. so many excuses...lack of time, lack of money etc. two things i have always wanted to do were photography and painting. my grandmother paints (and taught herself).... anyway, we'll see. one thing at a time. i'm glad that i'm at least going to go for it and see what happens!!! :) life is too short not to go for it!

from a full heart...

today a couple of really important things happened. kade said, "i love you" for the first time. lily has been saying it for a while but for some reason kade wouldn't. anyway, i was pumped. there's nothing quite like hearing your kids tell you they love you. the other significant thing that happened was rylee's prayer at dinner. usually when she prays, she says the typical "thank you for this food" etc. tonight, my precious little three yr old spoke to God from her heart. she prayed a several sentence prayer that included thanking Him for our food and family. kyle and i both looked at each other with the "awwww" face. (you know the one) :) it was a moment. i'm constantly reminded that we as parents have so much influence on our children. i know that i will never be the perfect parent, mainly because they don't exist, but more than anything i desire to raise children that know my Lord intimately and choose to follow after Him. i look forward to seeing my children grow and take steps toward owning their faith!!!

what a day!
my son verbalized his love for me...
my daughter talked to God from her heart...
my heart is full...

Rest Within His Sanctuary...

Why, in this, a time of trouble,
do I sing a song of peace?
Why, with all man's strife and struggle,
do I thank God for release?

Why? Because I know He loves me,
and by faith I enter in
To the safety of His refuge,
where He saves me from my sin.

He brings comfort to the suffering,
strength to those lost and alone;
For He offers an asylum,
calling us to be His own.

Listen, you can hear Him calling
from the cross and empty grave,
"Enter in My sanctuary;
all who enter I will save."

Rest within his sanctuary;
there is shelter from the storm.
You are safe within His refuge
till He comes to take you home.

Soon the young and old will gather
in that city filled with song.
Walled about by His salvation,
Christ the Lord has made it strong.

See the city gates are open;
enter in while time remains.
There is room for all who trust Him;
death to lose and life to gain.

-Dan Whittemore-

celebrate recovery...

wow....what a day! a small group from our church went to a seminar in Dallas today for Celebrate Recovery. it is an amazing program designed for churches to minister to people with issues. and let's face it...we all got'em!!!!!! :) anyway, it is a 15 yr old ministry that started at Saddleback in California. for more information go to http://www.pastors.com/pcom/recovery/
if you don't have this program at your church, i highly recommend you looking into it. God is using this biblically based 12 step program to radically transform and heal broken lives and people with "hurts, hang-ups and habits".

i'm really excited about bringing this program to our church body. our churches are full of hurting people who put on their pretty masks Sunday after Sunday and act like everything is fine and dandy. church needs to be a safe place for people to share their struggles and let's face it....for most it falls very short!!! we are all sinners, each of us struggling with our particular issues. if you think you don't have any...you're either in denial or just arrogant. we will not be rid of our flesh until the day we meet Him face to face. until then......that means issues.... however, we can work at becoming more and more like Christ. i believe that one way to do that is to admit our struggles...not only to ourselves but to others whom God has placed in our lives to help us along in this journey. (i don't just believe it...it's in God's word)

ok, enough rambling for one entry. it has been a great day...i'm really tired...

blessings!!!

what the heck?

so, i must admit that i am somewhat of a political idiot. i'm not exaggerating :) i try to be informed enough to vote...which i do and so should you!!! it's my blog...i can throw out my opinions :) anyway, as i understand it...the senate and house of rep's has now been taken over by the democrats. what confuses me the most is how upset some christians seem to be. to here some of them talk, it is the end of the world and america is going to hell in a handbasket.

now, personally, i don't really understand what the upset is about because here is the bottom line.........is God any less God than He was yesterday? where is our faith, people? do we honestly have more faith in politicians than we do the Creator of the universe? it just seems so ridiculous to me!!!

there you have it....my soap box for the week.

awesome weekend...

well, the winter youth retreat went really, really well! brian rayburn (graduated from umhb) spoke and was incredible. God has gifted him with the gift of communication. he had the kids attention the entire time and spoke God's truth the entire weekend. he talked about passion and i know God did a lot of work on the adults hearts also.

he started off talking about things that rob us of our passion for Christ. sin, busyness and selfishness. yeah, pretty much right between the eyes for any Christian. i looked up passion in the dictionary and this was my favorite definition:

passion - something that is desired intensely

what would happen if we as followers of Christ could or would desire him intensely?

Lord, show me what it truly means to desire you intensely!!!

a little catching up to do......

i was waiting to post until i could download pics of the kids in their costumes, but oh well. i'll get those up soon. they had a great halloween. rylee was "the little mermaid", kade was "peter pan" and lily was "tinkerbell". they were soooooo adorable! it's always so much fun dressing them up and they love it!!! my parents came down for fall festival and we all had a great time.

wed. night i started feeling bad and ended up puking all night. (i know, lovely, your welcome) :) anyway, i was sick all night and worthless on thurs. so, i called my teachers and told them i wouldn't be at work and got everything squared away and stayed in bed. i did not get out of bed until 4:30 that afternoon. i was that weak and miserable. upon getting up, i couldn't stay up and went back to bed. i was siiiicccckkkk. ugh. my dear husband worked from home and took care of the kids for me. he also made me soup and brought anything i needed. he's so sweet....... :)

i got a call from a friend's neighbor who i have met before at church. anyway, she was in a bind with her kids. she had taken her kids out of a certain daycare (don't know why) and had found a spot for her three year old but not her four almost five year old. she was calling me to see if i knew of anyone that could watch him after preschool at 11am. well, she had already had to take two days off from work and i felt bad for her. so, i agreed to help her out until she could find something permanent. so, it helps her out so she can go back to work and i will get some extra christmas money. worked out pretty well, i think. we go and pick him up at 11am today, so we'll see how it goes. i know the kids will enjoy someone new to play with.

tonight i take the kids to my parents and kyle and i are spending tonight and tomorrow at "winter retreat" for the youth. i'm excited about getting to spend some extended time with my girls! pray that we will have safe travel (going to sky ranch) and that God would move this weekend in our kids.

thanks for reading my murmurings :) have a great weekend!!!!!

overwhelming love...

I'm constantly overwhelmed by my love for my kids. We watched "Click" (Adam Sandler) last night. It was a cute movie and very thought provoking. It made me stop and appreciate this time with my kids. As overwhelmed as I feel (a lot), I need to enjoy this time. They won't be little forever.

I'm also overwhelmed with how much the creator of the universe loves me. I think about how much I love my kids and wonder how much more God loves us, His children. Wow!

I was putting Lily to bed tonight and we were loving on each other. I am amazed at these little people that God has placed in my care to raise. I'm also amazed at how much I love them and how much they feel as much mine as Rylee does. God is so gracious and good. I'm so thankful that he knows better than we do. I'm truly grateful that each of my children were ordained to be mine and that God has seen fit to entrust me with them. It is extremely humbling. May He find me faithful to this calling...

meeting Him in the valley...

i found this online today and it encouraged me. hope it does the same for you! kade is doing a lot better!!! thanks for all the prayers. enjoy the weekend!

http://www.backtothebible.org/devotions/devotion.php/lessons/182

Naps are from the Lord...

My poor baby boy is still in pain. I can't wait for everything to heal. Kyle was home today. He worked all weekend (literally), so he took off today. It's always fun having him home during the week. Took a big, long, fat nap this afternoon. I had so much to do, but napping was so much more enjoyable :) Kade was up on and off during the night last night. Hopefully he's stays put tonight...

very long day...

we got up this morning at 5am in order to get kade to the surgery center at children's medical by 6:30am. about 8:30am they give him his "happy syrup" and we had the joy of discovering why they call it that. kade was looooooopy :) too cute. they took him back around 9am and he was back in our arms around 10:30am (still a little loopy). the dr. said that the surgery went well. we were in recovery until around noon and then headed home.

he has done well today. he has slept quite a bit and yes...he is hurting. i've been giving him tylenol/motrin for the pain. every time he pees he says, "take my diaper off, take my diaper off". i think it stings a little. i've also heard, "ouchy, my bottom hurts and my bipar hewts (diaper hurts)". bless his heart...he's hanging in there. thanks for prayers and phone calls etc.

my precious parents are keeping the girls this weekend so that i can focus on taking care of kade. what a blessing!!! i don't know what i would do if the girls were here....he is demanding all of my attention. it's good bonding for us too. i'm really enjoying spending some alone time with my only little boy......who is now calling me even as i type this! bye!

my munchkins :)

i don't know...stuff :)

upon spending a relaxing weekend at my parents house, i returned home on monday to a letter from the previous foster-grandmother of kade and lily. she wrote me once before about 7 mths ago. anyway, i know she is still grieving. however, she says things like, "i just wanted you to know that you can take my babies but you can't take my love for them". as if, I took her babies. anyway, just a little venting. it's strange for someone you don't really know to being calling my children their babies.

moving on...my hubby is out of town until tomorrow. we are very ready for him to come home. he is at youth conclave in Arlington. i don't sleep well when he isn't here. it's comforting to know if someone tried to break in that you have a big, strong man next to you. of course, if i were to be completely honest....kyle is such a heavy sleeper that he would probably sleep through it. in reality, i would be the one that would have to beat somebody up. well, try anyway!

kade is having his circumcision and correction on friday. i'm getting a little nervous. i just don't know how much pain he is going to be in when he wakes up. please be praying for him...thanks!

change of plans...

the kids and i were supposed to go to my sisters this weekend. it didn't work out...which is a good thing because the twins both have bronchitis sp?. they are on four medications right now...good grief. we are having a leisurely sunday morning. it's nice. i always hate missing church, but it is nice not to have to get everybody dressed up and out the door at a certain time.

we are at my parents house. my mom and i took the kids to the pumpkin patch yesterday. i got some cute pics that i will post later.

it's supposed to rain today.....praise the Lord!!! everywhere needs it.

happy sunday!

love, love, love...

i awoke this morning to my son loving on me. i'm amazed how God loves me through my children. he has been hugging and kissing on me all morning. some of you know how much i need that right now!

met melanie in waco last night for a nice steak dinner, a little shopping and starbucks. the greatness of our friendship is that we know each other by default. we've known each other since we were 14 and have been friends since 17 and were college roommates for 2 1/2 years. she knows me. she gets me. she loves me. our friendship is comfy...like my favorite pair of pajama pants :) can you describe a friendship like that? well...i just did :) i love you, mel-bel!

naucious rest...but rest!

i've basically been laying around all day. we were supposed to go to a wedding this evening...but i got the bug. rylee, who is still with my parents, also has the bug. fun times for the wilson clan. i am feeling better. i could've done without the nausea and other things i won't mention, but it has been nice to rest.

TGIF...

Kyle normally goes to work at the Kennel in Ennis every Friday. However, yesterday he got a stomach bug so he was home today. Rylee is with my parents in Abilene, having a blast. They had to go pick up a bed from my brother and are also going to see my mom's parents while they are there.

Pray the rest of us don't get the virus. My stomach has been feeling yucky since dinner.

Mel...glad you found your way back to my blog! Love ya!

Peace out, everbody!

a funeral, a misunderstanding and a child's prayer...

today was today. we went to the funeral of a youth's dad that passed away. it's always hard when a kid loses their parent at such a young age. he had suffered from a brain tumor for a long time, so it was a bitter/sweet end. it was a nice funeral, as funerals go. he was a believer which always gives comfort to those mourning.

had a lovely misunderstanding with a friend. i hate those....hate, hate, hate! you know the kind where you go over everything that was said and you go back and forth with yourself about whether you said something wrong or the other person overreacted...anyway, one of those lovely occurances.

needless to say, by the end of the day i was emotionally worn out, being snappy with my kids etc. i got the twins ready for bed and the kids and i sat in kade's room to say our prayers. kade and lily mumbled their precious little prayers that only God can understand :) Then Rylee said, Dear God, Thank you for this day and please help mommy to be good. In Jesus Name, Amen. Now, i'm not exactly sure what she meant by good...but i'll take it :)

tired...

i'm so tired tonight. long sunday, church, elevate group, youth meeting, talked with a youth for a couple of hoursjiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii...see i fell asleep on my keyboard. more tomorrow! :)

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born."

The above quote is from Anias Nin. I love it because it is so true! I had a great day yesterday! Spent the day with my Julie. We did lunch and some shopping. It was very relaxing and refreshing. Thanks Julie!!!!!! Came home and played with my kids for a little while, then went to dinner with Kim and Stacy. So, basically, I had a girls day yesterday. It was fun! My friends rock!

Today...I catch up on housework and take care of my munchkins who I missed yesterday :)

Happy Weekending!!!

a few notes...

On a serious note...I took Kade to Dr. Snodgrass in Plano for his circumcision consultation. Little did we know that our son has a "twisted penis" which also needs to be corrected. Basically, his pee hole is turned to the left. I now understand why his diaper is forever leaking on the left :) Anyway, it is a minor thing that will be corrected along with his circumcision on October 20th.

On a sweet note...I went into Kade's room yesterday morning to get him up to go to the Dr. and he wasn't in his bed. So, I started looking around and went into the girl's room. He was snuggled up in bed with Lily. It was the sweetest thing ever! I hated to disturb him. They were both snoozing.

On a sad note...I went to the park to sit and think yesterday for a few minutes when Kyle got home. A little mental health moment... Anyway, there was a couple going from garbage can to garbage can looking for dinner. I was saddened and wished I had some cash on me. But, on the other hand it made me grateful for my chronically messy house and having food to make dinner even though feeling exhausted at the end of the day.

On a semi-funny note...(even though it took some time :) I was peed on twice yesterday. Once by Lily, once by Kade. Yes....they do a lot of things in pairs :)

On a final note...Has anyone seen "The Illusionist" yet????????????????

Do Nothing Day...

These days are few and far between for the Wilson household. We did nothing today. Are you ready for this? I actually took a nap!!! A real one! It lasted almost one hour! We were supposed to go to Kyle's family in Waco tonight but Lily woke up with a fever last night. However, she has been fine since this morning. So, I guess it was some kind of fluke or something. At any rate, it was really nice to relax.

I got to see my sister and her kids yesterday. I have the greatest niece and nephew in the whole world! (Mindy-Eileen...You are a great Mom and are doing an incredible job!) My niece is the sweetest, most polite 2 yr old you could ever meet!!!

Ok, I'm going to watch Deal or No Deal! Have a great Sunday tomorrow!!!!!!

Each Day I Choose by Max Lucado

Be encouraged and challenged by this today...

http://www.dayspring.com/collections/lucado/lucado2.asp

Blessings!

Zip it!

So, those who see me often have probably noticed that I've put on about 15 pds over the past year. My only excuse is taking a flying leap into Mommy of 3, loving food and eating when I'm stressed. Well, with the winter coming up....I can't fit into my jeans or any of my pants for that matter. My only options are to lose some weight or go buy new pants. The latter is not an option, therefore, I have decided to lose the weight.

My sister told me about this website www.caloriesperhour.com and that Denise Austin has daily workouts at 6:30am on Lifetime during the week. So, I figured out how many calories I can have a day and I've been working out. I really don't feel like I am dieting, which is great for me, because I HATE dieting. I just watch my calories and work out in the morning. I'm happy to report that I zipped my jeans this morning!!! Yeah, me! They were still a little snug to wear but at least I reached step 1...zipping.

I am also thrilled to report that Lily had her ECI Evaluation today and she graduated out!!! Yeah, Lily!!! She either met or exceeded where she is supposed to be developmentally. God is so good and I am amazed at how I am seeing Him work in the lives of my kids. They are soooooooooo different than when we first got them. Rylee being an amazing big sister hasn't hurt either:) She is so good with them. It is neat to look back and see His hand in all of this. It certainly hasn't been an easy journey, but very rewarding!

MoNdAy, mOnDaY...

I had a great weekend and a pretty good Monday today. Mondays are usually difficult because of all I have to get done. But, we had a good day. Of course, I didn't get everything done but that's OK...it'll be there tomorrow :)

We started "Elevate Groups" a week ago. They are discipleship classes on Sunday night for the youth. They are supposed to be split boy/girl and jr high/hs, but I currently have all the girls because we don't have a jr high girl leader yet. Anyway, it has been very enjoyable. The girls decided they wanted to do some topical studies, spend a few weeks on something and then move onto something else. I asked what they wanted to start with....fully expecting something like...sex, dating, boys..........but they surprised me and said...friendship. So, I'm pretty excited because friendship is one of my favorite subjects. :)

Great News...Great Movie :)

First, the great news. Kade had his yearly evaluation with ECI today. (Early Childhood Intervention) They work with kids with developmental delays until they are three. Anyway, Kade and Lily have been seeing them from birth because of the drug exposure. When we got them a year ago they were both behind in several areas. Kade (at 15mths) was chewing on the level of a 7mth old, just to give you an idea. He had a great eval today...he was so close to being on target that they gave me the option of continuing or not. I chose to continue because of his speech. He is still not speaking very clearly. But, he has made great strides. Yeah, Kade!!!

Now for the great movie...You have to see The Illusionist. I don't want to talk about it and give anything away. I am at my sweet parents house and my mom kept the kids while my dad and I went to see it. Thanks Mom and Dad for a relaxing night!

One last random add on...I didn't add in my entry yesterday that my precious son came over and sat on top of me as I laid on the couch after coming out of my "time out" :) He proceeded to kiss my nose, then my cheeks, then my mouth...in that order...about 4 times. It was so sweet. One reason is because I usually have to bribe him to give kisses... It was one of those moments that make all the difficulties associated with being a mom melt away...

challenging day

Today beginning at 1pm the Lord decided to give me a chance to practice the patience that I have been praying for. I know...I've heard it many times, "Don't you know that you're not supposed to pray for patience". Well, the only reason my children are still living is because I have prayed for some...jk :) Anyway, Rylee decided to have a HUGE fit at the end of school...I had to call Kyle to come get her. Her fits lately have just been sooooo over the top. (I have no idea where she gets that from). Ha! The twins woke up in bad moods and fussed, whined and cried all the way home . We got home and all three of them started in. I stood there listening to all three of them at the same time and I did what any mother who didn't want to murder there children would do...I locked myself in my bedroom. No kidding. I laid on my bed and prayed for about 5 minutes. Of course, as soon as I left them they stopped whining and fussing and started carrying on a conversation.

I came out and calmly found the phone and called my wonderful husband. He came home, told me to go to my room and took care of the kids while I had a nice break. He also picked up toys and tidied the house. Yes.......I know how blessed I am. He truly is wonderful and so understanding when I have days like today.

One thing is for sure....tomorrow has to be better!

memories...

I stumbled upon my old journal today from 1995 and 1996. It was really interesting to read through it. There is so much that I've forgotten. I was in college at the time dealing with friendships, the loss of my first love, school, work etc. But, one thing I noticed is how much I depended on the Lord through all of that and how He has truly been faithful. I talked a lot about my future husband and it is amazing how God exceeded all of my expectations. He is soooo good! I am truly blessed to be the wife of the most amazing man I know.

I also used to write poetry. It was just for me to express feelings etc. Here was one of my favorites...

Wind is not seen but heard,
like the quiet beating of a heart.
Time passes and never goes back.
Explanations come and go,
quiet rythyms of mindless games.
Patterns of nothing that seem so real,
yet never are surfaced and faced.

Sorry if it doesn't make sense to you...it does to me, but I don't know if I could explain it. Give me your thoughts....but be kind :)

May Christ be your strength today!!!!!

Happy 20th Birthday Megan & Meredith!!!!

Happy Birthday to my second favorite twins :) It is so exciting to continue to see you both grow and mature. I am soooooo proud of you and love you both very much!!! I hope you had a special day...

The Zoo and a Good Cry...

The kids and I went to the zoo on Friday with my Dad. We had a good time. There is something about the zoo that relaxes me. I truly enjoy going every time.


One of the truly enjoyable things about parenting is experiencing moments through the eyes of your children. I love seeing the wonder in their eyes as they see an animal for the first time or experience any "first" for that matter.

We stayed at Nana & Popy's last night (my parents). I have PMS and I'm overly sensitive, so my feelings got a little hurt and I had a good cry. Yeah for good cries....I haven't had one in a while. They truly cleanse the soul. My Mom hugged me and told me everything would be Ok...you know all of the "mom stuff" and I felt better. Of course, she is also the one that hurt my feelings (but didn't mean to) and it turned out to be a good thing...so, Thanks, Mom!!!

Little Tooshies...

One thing that you won't stop hearing about, if your still reading my musings, is how hard it is to be the mom of three toddlers. I've told some of you...I just wasn't made for this stage. I love my children, don't get me wrong. But if I could fast forward through this year with the twins...I really think I would push the button.

Tonight, however, Kade and Lily were fixing to get in the bathtub. Kyle was in the bathroom waiting to give them a bath. Yes...I do have a husband who helps with the kids...a lot (Thank you, Lord:) Anyway, I was getting them undressed and before I knew it they both had their diapers off and went streaking through the den toward the bathroom. All I could see were these two cute tooshies. It made me smile...there is nothing cuter than a little tooshie and they are even cuter times two :)

Silence....a beautiful thing!

I'm finding one of the pressures of having a blog is feeling the need to write in it. Some days are just days....nothing too exciting or nothing anyone would want to hear about. I just got home from church and put the twins to bed. Rylee and Kyle are out with the youth. And me....I am enjoying silence.....ahhhhhh, the inexplicable joy of silence for a worn out mother of three.

May you enjoy some silence in your life :)

Life is HARD!!!!

I think so many times as Christians we are afraid to admit, or don't think we are very spiritual if we actually admit that sometimes life just sucks! Why don't we all just admit that life is not a bed of roses? Sure, there are happy times...many of them for most of us. But, those times when we are in pain, or grieving or hurting, those times are hard!

I spoke with a dear, sweet friend today who is there. She is in that place that just plain hurts. And, when your friends heart hurts, yours hurts along with it. Alongside her, I continually plead with God to intervene in her situation. I also question why He hasn't!!!

Now, some good news. Aren't you thankful that we serve a Lord that knows every tear that we cry and sees the beautiful tapestry being woven by His hand? In the midst of ugliness, pain and even hopelessness...we have a hope! Sometimes, that is ALL we have.

So, ask those hard questions...scream at Him in those times of desperation. He is a big God and He loves us and my precious friend beyond comprehension.

Happy Labor Day Weekend!

We are currently at my parents house. Yeah for grandparents...gives Mom and Dad a little break :) I got to see Melanie and her kids last night. Had fun Mel!!! She is in town seeing her parents too.

We are going back to Corsicana this afternoon and then to Waco tomorrow to spend time with Kyle's side of the family.

May your Labor Day Weekend bring you much rest and little to no labor :)

Rough Day...

I guess having 3 toddlers entitles me to a few rough days. Well, I'm having one. So, instead of drowning in my own pity, I thought I would let it all out here. Lily has an ear infection and has been whiny and cranky all day. Kade has a cough and a little fever and has been...you guessed it....cranky and whiny all day. They have both been wanting to be held. This is where one of the main difficulty of twins comes into play. I only have two arms and one lap:) Rylee...my dear, sweet, darling three year old...(do you hear the sarcasm in my voice :) well, she is going through some kind of phase where she just doesn't want to obey... With all of this going on today...it is only 3pm and I am wiped out. Fortunately, we have church tonight and a beautiful thing called "the church nursery":)

The Love of God

I am currently reading "Lies women believe and the truth that sets them free" by Nancy DeMoss and working through the companion notebook. Basically at the root of every stronghold is a lie that we have believed. I'm discovering that Satan is really, really good at what he does. He knows exactly where we are weak and he attacks.

One of the major lies that I struggle with is that God couldn't possibly love me when I ___________. The blank could be anything and I'm sure we could all fill it in with something or many things. I don't know why I struggle with God's unconditional love for me. I don't really know if I fully grasp how much He loves me. So, I am desperately trying to replace that lie with God's truth. It really takes work. But I read something this morning that I want to share by Hannah Whitall Smith:

Put together all the tenderest love you know of, the deepest you have ever felt, and the strongest that has ever been poured out upon you, and heap upon it all the love of all the loving human hearts in the world, and then multiply it by infinity, and you will begin, perhaps to have some faint glimpse of what the love of God is.

When the husband is away............

you're up to your eyeballs in children :) Kyle left this morning for staff retreat. He'll be back tomorrow night. All of the staff wives are coming over tonight for some fun and fellowship and Angie (children's ministers wife) is spending the night with her two kids, so I won't be lonely :) ok....and so we won't both be scared...we don't like it when our hubbies are away.

I forgot to write about Rylee burning her hand on the stove on Friday night. She likes to watch me cook lately and we have many discussions about things being hot etc. Well, she decided to test me on my word and reached out and touched the burner with the backside of her left hand. Why she didn't touch it like a normal person beats me. Anyway, as I was doctoring her hand she said, "Mommy, you told me the truth!" Which I do try to do most of the time :) Kids will be kids...testing limits and boundaries....hmmm...don't we still do that as adults?!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MINDY EILEEN!!! May your 30's bring you much joy and at least one more child...hee, hee, hee!!!!!!!! I love you like a sister :) :)

motherhood and other such stuff...

So I am reading this book called "How to get your kids to mind without losing yours" by Kevin Lehman. The title appealed to me because...well...I feel like I might lose my mind on a daily basis. I'm into Ch. 4 and rather enjoying it. It's coming from the standpoint of taking the time to develop heartchange in our kids rather than just behavior change. It's good stuff.

You know those times when you feel like God is so far away...then there are the times when He feels as close as your breath. Well, I've just been through the "far away time" and I'm currently going through the "close as my breath time". Frankly, I prefer these times. I feel like He is teaching me so much on a daily basis that I can't keep up with it all. I feel so blessed right now. Not because everything is perfect, but because I have an amazing family, the best friends God could give and a Savior who desires to be with me, teach me and grow me.

Putting yourself out there...

So, I decided to try this whole blogging thing. It's kind've scary, however...rather vulnerable. You basically put your thoughts out there for everyone to critique and have an opinion on. Then there is also the fear that no one will care what you have to say. But, my thought is...if you don't like it...don't read it. That simple. So, this is the beginning of my musings. I'm hoping it will be therapeutic :)